New living arrangements

I have my own apartment now. The divorce moves forward. A new chapter in my life. I actually have a book for short sayings by Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers Neighborhood). I picked it up and kinda skimmed through it. I do things like this seemingly on a whim or coincidence, but then I came across a quote that had poignant meaning for me right now. It's not quite a direct quote but essentially it said there was a difference between solitude and lonliness and solitude mustn't equal lonliness. It was good as that is one of my big struggles. All too often one equals the other. I'm working alot on me. Trying to figure out who I am and relearning to like that face in the mirror. If work wasn't going so well I would be one seriously fucked up dude. I have some great friends. I also have challenges there too. I struggle leaning on them. Do they really want to hear it? Do they really mean it when they say call me if you need anything, or is that just one of those bull shit things you say to make someone feel better with the sincere hope is that he doesn't take you up on your offer. At 3am. Barefoot. (Yes that has meaning, but there are only a few who would get it. Don't ask) I'll probably do what so many have told me not to do. I tend to live my life by my rules anyway. I always have. Even my mom will attest to that. I have a dear friend who is very special to me. We have kept it reasonable for now. I think Harvey stole my crystal ball though. So, I have no idea what the future holds. At least she's a diver. I am being good. I'm not drinking much. The first two things in my new refrigerator was a 6 pack of beer and Chili's leftovers. The left overs have long since been eaten. I still have a couple of beers left. I spend too much time on the internet. It's my contact with the outside world. Not much different than when I was married. I read more. I have no TV. I like it that way. Ask me what I think when Hockey season starts. My radio reception has never been all that great. Maybe that will be an advantage of being on the third floor. I'm still not all unpacked. I don't have a place for all my crap. Yes, I have crap. I have stuff, and I have crap. Will someone explain to me why I inherited my dad's penchant for collecting mugs? For the record, or someones record, or who ever chooses to read this... yes, I am partially to blame for the miserable failure of a 15 year marriage. I won't put it all down here. I'll talk about it. But I did play a role. I am the one who gave up. I said I wanted out. She filed. Tom